The Little Shop of Lyrics
Welcome to the Little Shop of Lyrics. This is the place to come when you are blocked or just want to throw around an idea and see if Wiggymusic can make it any better. The Little Shop of Lyrics is not for everyone, just as Wiggymusic itself is not for everyone. Let this be a warning: there is a moral obligation for those who choose to utilize this workshop. You are not required to pay for any assistance you receive with your lyrics or recognize Wiggymusic for helping you bring your project to a successful completion. Your only obligation is to try to write the best lyrics that you can - hopefully pleasing to any audience for whom you might have the good fortune to play. If you feel that you have been treated well here at The Little Shop of Lyrics, I would be more than pleased if you would return the favor by helping someone else with his or her lyrics or directing him or her to this website. If you are reading a hard copy of the actual book, then please, simply, pass it on. Wiggymusic's Little Shop of Lyrics is available to anyone who is interested in writing good lyrics with a positive attitude in the interest of evoking an emotional response, either happy or sad, from your intended audience.
Thank you very much, Wig Nelson
Introduction:
Why write song lyrics anyway? Who cares about the lyrics? Most people don’t even listen to the lyrics, they just dance or groove along to the music, right? Well, maybe, but certainly not in a slow, thought provoking ballad. And some lyrics are intended to give us a good laugh, which is always just what the doctor ordered. Lyrics deliver clichés that are familiar to us and give us the feeling that we are not alone in the world. When I can relate to the emotions or intellect in a song, it validates me as a person. It’s comforting to me to hear that other people have the same beliefs, likes and dislikes that I do.
Beyond the language in which lyrics are actually written, there is a bridge formed between otherwise distant and very different cultures. Many songs are written and performed in English throughout the world. I’m not sure what the reason is; perhaps it is the easiest language in which to write rhymes. English is considered by some to be a rather clumsy language, not quite as guttural as German, but not as flowing and beautiful as French or Italian. So why do so many cultures write lyrics in English? Maybe it is as simple as it being the largest common denominator. After all, it’s all about getting our message heard by the most people, right?
Who are we singing to? Certainly not to ourselves; why would we bother to do that? No, we are trying to communicate to others and hopefully connect our feelings. Songs lyrics can convey some feelings much better than any other medium. They take us a giant step further than prose or poetry because we have much more than the spoken word to use to express ourselves. We have a voice. We can augment the written word with the emotionality of sound. We can implore someone to hear a desperate plea or describe our observations in life while simultaneously demonstrating how we feel about them just by the emotion or melody that accompanies the message.
Song lyrics are in large part a record of our actual history. They even send them out into space; perhaps as one of the ways we define our species here on Earth. Long before there was the written word there was the lyric to pass stories down through subsequent generations. The actual word lyric comes from the reference to words or melodies sung to a lyre, which is a stringed instrument from the middle ages.
Whether or not a song lyric will have legs, or be popular for many years into the future are anybody’s guess. But the concept of communication through song lyrics will certainly never go out of style. Styles will change and lyricists and composers will come and go, but the song is here to stay. Song melodies will forever remain right before our ears for all time just waiting, begging for you to flesh them out with your lyrics. What are you waiting for? Your song awaits you as does your audience.
Chapter 1: Five Basics
1. A good song should have movement.
Movement is best understood as a change in attitude from the beginning of a song to the ending.
If you write "the sky is blue" well, that's very observant of you, but so what? What else is blue? How do you feel about blue? Was it always blue? Do most people like blue? Is blue your favorite color for a sky? For anything else? Are you feeling blue? (Do you see a pattern emerging here?)
Questions?
A helpful trick I use constantly is asking questions. I pretend I'm the listener and I am the nosiest guy on Earth. I want to know everything. If it's a girl, what does she look like? Is she nice? Is she pretty? Does she like you? Has she always liked you? Do people like her? Can she cook? Can she sing? . . . You get the idea. Now, I know that the lyricist is not going to answer all those questions I have, but he better tell me something; anything of interest. Just give me a reason why I should care that you're singing the song in the first place. That's movement.
Fiction writing is the same, as is poetry. If you're just going to say, "This is how it is," then you're a journalist. If you say, "This is how it is," and then you go on to say, "Now I feel differently," or "This is still how it is and this is how I feel about it," or "How come I never saw the change happening?" that's movement.
Some of my songs lack movement, and what do you want to bet they could be a lot better? Thank God for the rewrite. Remember, you better have something going on in your song or you're going to anger the person who took the time to listen to it. He won't be back.
Basically, movement can be defined as a stated situation, a change in that situation, and with any luck, how you feel about that change in the situation.
2. Avoid overworked clichés like the plague.
In the course of this workshop, I'll identify a bunch of clichés that I might have used in the past, and if I have, I should be ashamed of myself. If you say, "I love you," in a song, good for you. That's an honest, heartfelt emotion that anyone can have a good feeling about.
If you say, "You're the only one for me," then the next thing I’m expecting to hear is, "If you could only see - We were always meant to be – Oh gosh, oh gee” - you get the idea; don't do this. There are a hundred lines that I avoid like the plague and I intend to list them right here, eventually. I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings, but trust me, I'm hurting mine, too. I'm just as guilty as you are and with any luck, and The Little Shop of Lyrics, we can all be a little better at what we're trying to accomplish here. Please avoid these phrases at all costs:
Ships passing in the night - ships pass for a good reason; so does gas
Heartstrings of your soul - just what is a heartstring and is it covered by your health insurance?
You are the one - yeah, until the divorce and then you were the one
Cutting like a knife - use the cut, but lose the simile; we all know what a knife does. How about a metaphor: "your love is a knife"
Soaring of my heart - this line will fowl your own nest
Heavenly embrace - it’s a felony to use these two words in the same sentence
My guiding light or guiding star - come back to Earth; that's where your listeners are
Don't break my heart * - unless you can say it in a unique way, don't bother. Even Achy Breaky was better than "you broke my heart"
I can't live without you * - sure you can; you just don't "want" to live without her/him
The lines with asterisks are examples where I break my own rules. After all; rules are meant to be broken, especially where art is concerned, right? Here's the reason I asterisked "Break My Heart."
Well, I know this term is overused, but I tried it myself once in a song called, "Break My Heart Again." It has a little twist to it in that it says, "Isn't it sorry to hear I want to break my heart again." It's in the key of B that I never write in. All the changes are on the upbeat, which I find really fun to play on the guitar. I thought I could get away with it because I said it in a different way. The point being that we sometimes break our own heart by wanting what we can't have. I might not have pulled it off, but here are the link and the lyrics.
“Break My Heart Again” By Wig Nelson
Isn't it crazy - that you can break your heart on a friend
Isn't it easy - to want to go for what you can't win
Isn't it just like me - to want to sail without any wind
Isn't it - sorry to hear I want to break my heart again
Chorus
I didn't want to show you what you really mean to me
Something that you didn't want to see
I didn't want to trouble you with tales of love and fear
Something that you didn't want to hear
Isn't it - lov-e-ly - how we can love each other so well
Isn't it - heav-en-ly - whether it's really heaven or hell
Isn't it - sad to see that I will always be what I've been
Isn't it - sorry to hear I want to break my heart again
Isn't it - sorry to hear I want to break my heart again
Chorus
There are a couple of techniques in these lyrics that might be worth noting. First of all, note the internal rhymes as well as the end rhymesin each verse. Secondly, it makes the point that we ultimately break our own hearts for a number of reasons, (I won't go into that) but hopefully that deals with a broken heart in a fresh new way. No one wants to break their own heart, but it just happens sometimes. The second line supports the first by giving one of those reasons. The third line avoids clichés like "beating a dead horse" or "spinning my wheels" and, instead, describes a frustrating situation as a metaphor.
The second verse talks about staying in a bad relationship because we can't help ourselves - thus we break our own heart. The words “so well” were a really convenient rhyme for the words "or hell" and give the some strong movement. The chorus uses the senses like show you what you didn't want to see and tell you what you didn't want to hear. The more senses the better in my opinion.
Now, the reason I asterisked "I can't live without you" is this:
I recently saw the band, Train, on Good Morning America. They're a really good band. Well, I'm listening to this guy singing, "I can't leave without you - I can't leave without you," so naturally I think, "I can't leave without you, Baby, cause, Baby, you're my ride." Now, I know he was actually singing, "I can't live without you," but I needed the joke. I wouldn't have written the joke if it weren't for his inflection.
This brings us to INFLECTION 101. Or Affected speech.
3. Don't use words with affected speech that can be misinterpreted. (Unless you own it)
Example:
I can't live without a ewe? "I'm sorry, Sir, but you aren't allowed to bring that animal into this hotel. . . Yes, I know who you are; I have all your records."
How about the rock star that was driving too fast. "Yaw giving me a ticket?"
The officer says, "Okay, I'll try." He bends to the left and bends to the right as he writes out the ticket for the rock star.
Before he became a rock star, he said "your" or "you're" like anybody else. Then when singing the lyric it became "yaw."
Here is this star syndrome extended to the point of the ridiculous: This is mindless entertainment that is not intended to be part of the actual Little Shop of Lyrics, but I thought I'd share it anyway. Please disregard the dialogue of the rock star's wife and parents and the baby crying.
I wrote it as a kind of story board for a skit. The music is soft and melodious in the first part and then turns to the "star" singing at the top of his lungs. The implication is that they can't turn it on and off once they become rock stars. "Sir Mick" often dances up and down the isle of the supermarket and tears his shirt when he gets to the checkout counter kind of thing. Sorry, Mick, I know you don't do this, but I needed an example. Give my best to "Sir Charles," and "Sir, AHHHH I Fell Out Of A Palm Tree" I just knighted them, too.
“When Rock Stars Go Home” By Wig Nelson
Singer: “When rock stars go home, do they take their attitude along?
Are they just as cool, when you’re only trying to get through?
And do they believe they’re not the same sonny boy you knew?
I wonder if it’s true, when rock stars go home.”
Rock Star: “DON’T WANNA PASS YOU THE MASHED POTATOES!
DON’T WANNA CALL MY OLD GIRLFRIEND UP!
THERE’S NO BEER IN THE REFRIDGERA…
BY THE WAY, YOU CAN TAKE YAW OWN GARBAGE OUT!
TAKE YAW OWN GARBAGE OUT!”
Mom (spoken): “It’s okay, I can get it.
Dad (spoken): “No Dear, I’ll get it. I’m on my way out, anyway.”
Mom (spoken): “Where are you going…?”
Dad (spoken): “I have no idea.”
Singer: “When rock stars go home, do they have to jump around the room?
And can they behave if ever the Pastor comes to call?
I wish I was there to somehow be witness to it all. A fly upon the wall when rock stars go home.”
Rock Star: “I KNOCKED A HOLE IN THE CHINACABINET!
I TOOK A DUMP ON YOUR NEIGHBOR’S LAWN!
I THINK I MIGHTTA RUN OVER THE CAT…
BY THE WAY, YOU CAN TAKE YOUR OWN GARBAGE OUT
TAKE YAW OWN GARBAGE OUT!”
Dad (spoken): “I’ll take it Honey.”
Rock Star: (sung at the top of his lungs): “TAKE YOUR OWN GARBAGE OUT!”
Dad (spoken): “Just as soon as he gets in the can.”
Rock Star: (sung at the top of his lungs): “TAKE YOUR OWN GARBAGE OUT!”
Rock Star’s wife (spoken softly): “Would you sing the baby to sleep sweetie.”
Rock Star: (sung at the top of his lungs): “ROCK’A’BYE B’BEEE…”
Baby (crying): “WAAAAAAH!’
Rock Star (sung at the top of his lungs): “ON A TREE TOP!”
Baby (crying): “WAAAAAAH!”
Note: When the rock star went home he spoke like a rock star: "Take 'yaw' own garbage out." Do you think that his parents taught him to speak that way? Probably not. If you can pull off some affected speech for the first time, go for it. You'll own it. That's the point, though. I'm not going to sing, "I gottah you," because I'd be trying to copy someone else. The Godfather of Soul, for one.
If I don't own it, I won't use it. The only time I'll sing, "I got a ewe," is if I follow it up and sing, "and a horsy and a ducky, too."
4. Here's another taboo: Try to avoid any "of your" metaphors that sound really familiar. Mix and match any of the following nouns with the prepositional phrase "of your," "in your," "to your" or "of the" and the result is the same. You come up with some lyrics that I'm really glad I didn't write. They are overused clichés masquerading as insightful comparisons. Sometimes you can't avoid them, but all I ask is that you try.
Magic smile
Laughter life
Twinkle eyes
Garden "in your" night
Rapture hands
Splendor touch
Wonder "of the" mind
Mystery style
Caress lips
Fervor "of your" push
Loving nudge
Touching soul
Kissing "to your" love
Humping dog
Licking . . . let's just stop here, shall we? You get the idea . . .
The point I'm trying to make here is there are things that you can write that will actually make people throw up. You might find a use for such lyrics in the poison control sector of your local hospital, but that's not what this site is about. Not that there's anything wrong with that.
Now would be a good time to say that the cliché is actually the backbone of all good lyric writing. It's something we've heard time and again, and that familiarity makes us comfortable. I'm all for using a cliché in lyrics when it is fresh in the medium. Andy Warhol had some success painting a Campbell's soup cans. Let's see someone do that again. Hmmm . . . something's wrong. Why isn't it cool when you do it? Because it already got it's fifteen minutes of fame. If I ever get famous, I'm going to ask if we can maybe shorten it to five or six minutes. Now why did I say that? There's always a point, it's here somewhere. . . Oh, yes, instead of saying that fame is overrated (not that I'd know) or that there is a price to pay for fame, i.e. - lack of privacy, stalkers, etc., I said I'd like to be famous for five or six minutes. It's not a particularly good example but it demonstrates saying something in a different way.
Back to lyrics and the cliché. The lovely Bonnie Raitt wrote a very good song called, "Nick of Time."
Where would we be without her wonderful music and such a terrific use of a cliché? It was the title song of a wonderful CD of some of the best rhythm and blues music of all time. But don't use that line again. It belongs to her. I'll never use the phrase "nick of time" because it will never carry the same weight or message as when she used it.
So, let’s review: A cliché is a good thing and can provide a really solid anchor for a song lyric. Probably 90% of all good lyrical hooks are clichés; however, an overused cliché can kill an otherwise good lyric faster than you can say, “the sands of time.”
But let's get back to lyrics. How about point of view? (POV)
5. Don't limit your point of view.
I live a pretty ordinary life, but my songs are anything but ordinary. Why? Because I lie. That's right, I lie. Lyric writing or "fiction," which is all lyrics really are, is the only acceptable circumstance where a lie is appropriate. Was Mick Jagger really born in a crossfire hurricane? Probably not. So we can lie. If you don't like that term, let's just say that we can represent something other than ourselves.
James Taylor once wrote a song that began, "I'm a lonely lighthouse . . ." I thought, Hmmmm, I thought you were a singer songwriter. Then it dawned on me, “Wow, I can be someone else." John Prine wrote, "I'm an old woman - named after my mother - my old man is another - child that's grown old." Man I wish I wrote that. Do I think that John Prine is really an old woman, like dressed in drag or something? No, I feel that he is an artist presenting a part of life that is not his own. Bingo! That's what we all should aspire to. Don't limit yourself. Here's a POV that I used with some success:
“The Ghost Ship's Parade” By Wig Nelson c. 1992
I am an old clipper – best of the day Off on a holiday cruise up the bay Wind in the rigging – flags in the sky If I were a man there’d be tears in my eye Once I had a sister and faster was she A half day behind her was all I could be A great reef down under ripped through her keel A night when a fool took his turn at the wheel (Chorus) All of the blue sea – always been a friend to me All of the blue sea – always been a friend to me
Once I knew a runner – guns for the war The British were dealing him fire from their bore It’s sad when I think of the difference we’ve made Here at the head of the ghost ship’s parade
Once I knew a captain – born on the sea Eyes for the pretty maid – soul to be free Here’s to the battles he fought at my side And one to his health as he’s off on the tide (Chorus) Once I knew a slaver – and many men died A black hearted tally man counted their cries The soul of the trader is lost to the waves The devil might sing to you those were the days
I’ve seen all the kingdoms rise up and fall There must be a reason I’ve lived through it all Send me the children and raise up the sail And gather ‘round close as I whisper the tale (Chorus) All of the blue . . . All of the blue . . . All of the blue . . . All of the blue . . .
Incidentally, those lyrics are a very good example of rhyming couplets or the rhyme scheme – AA, BB, CC, DD, etc. Meter is very precise in that the lines have the same number of beats and similar accents. The chorus is a rhyming couplet, also, although it deviates from the meter of the verses. Certain words I choose to call grace words are “and” and “there.”
They can be omitted and nothing about the song really changes. It’s all a matter of personal taste to use them or not.
But back to POV:
Do you think that I thought for a minute that I was an old ship telling a story? Nope, didn't think so. So you see you can be whatever you want to be. Be a crack whore who wants to get straight for the sake of her children. Be a soldier in a war who wishes well of his enemy. His weapon for peace is to wish his enemy a grandchild that he can bounce upon his knee. The obvious implication is that you wish the safety of the innocents, if there are any innocents. Be Mick Jagger born in a crossfire hurricane. It's theater.
Let's face it, very few people really sing about what is closest to their heart. Most people are more private than that. Forgive me if I'm wrong, but I've written over a hundred songs, (thrown away over two hundred) and never wrote a song about my wife who I love more than anyone. You know why? My wife is real, and my art is theater. Oh, gosh darn it, I've let the cat out of the bag and now I'm in for it. I'm not saying that there aren't a lot of sincere, heart-felt love songs out there, but, trust me, the majority are fiction. I've been married for over 20 years, so if I write a love song about a young girl, it better be fiction or my wife will shoot me. Sometimes I write a song in a "chick voice" or female point of view. I'm not going to limit myself to an overweight man in his fifties with thinning hair. Not that there's anything wrong with that. The point I'm trying to make is that for the most part, lyrics are fiction. I'll probably never write a song about my wife. If I do, I'll either be dying or it's because I need a really big favor. But you probably won't ever hear it.
Another Example of Writing to Scat:
A collaborator named David recently sent me this song. The genre is southern rock, which is no real stretch for me because I grew up (well, almost) going to concerts like Atlanta Rhythm Section and The Allman Brothers. David's song reminded me of Lynard Skynard. It also reminded me of The Almond Joys, who, of course, became The Allman Brothers. Anyway, David sends me this song and I listen and like what I hear. It's a really cool song. I'm thinking, man, this song can write its own lyrics if I just get out of the way.
“Magnolia” (Old Blue)
Music By David Campbell / Lyrics By Wig Nelson
Old Blue why don’t you make up your move
Unless you think she’s just teasin’
All night long she’s been lookin’ at you
And givin’ you a good reason
I know a lot has changed since you’ve been out here
The role reversals aren’t always so clear
Come on Blue why don’t you ask her to dance
Sometimes December gets September romance
Come on Blue now bust out that move
Unless you think she’s just teasin’
All night long she’s been lookin’ at you
So now you’ve got a good reason
I know a lot has changed since you’ve been out here
The role reversal isn’t always so clear
Come on Blue why don’t you ask her to dance
Sometimes December gets September romance
(Refrain)
Don’t look now I think she’s walkin’ this way
I think maybe she may have something to say
I’m gonna’ step out back for a while
Old Blue I’m glad you made your move
I guess she wasn’t teasin’
She’s been all night long givin’ you a reason
I seen you headin’ for the door
I guess we won’t be seein’ you around no more
Old Blue I’m glad you made up your move
And that she wasn’t just teasin’
It must feel good to back in the groove
I know it’s got to be pleasin’
Old Blue I’m glad you made up your move
And that she wasn’t just teasin’
When I first heard this song by David Campbell I was thinking that the first three notes are “grace notes” or “lead in” notes in that it's all just a set up, kind of like anticipating someone saying something but there's nothing there. So, I first scat: Blah dah dah for the lead in notes. Now Blah dah dah may not sound like something Earth shattering to you, but let's all remember that a lot of good lyrics begin their life as mindless sounds searching for some kind of similarity to actual words.
So, here I am with, Blah dah dah. I naturally followed that up with some rocket science: Do do - dah dah - do do dah do . . . dah dah dah do do dah do dah. Now, you must think I am from Mars, (which is true) but there was actually something unfolding here rather quickly. I said to myself, "Old Blue - why don't you make up your move - unless you think she's just teasin'." Well, now the whole song kind of unfolds before me in about three or four minutes. I envision a guy in his late forties or fifties back in the dating scene, for one reason or another, (a widower or divorced) who is like a fish out of water.
(Note that at this point this is just fiction like any other fiction - I intend to tell a short story - a very short story)
Naturally, there's a young guy on the scene, (it could as well be a young girl who is his friend although not a love interest- little sister kind of thing, or little brother) the younger one says to the older one, "Old Blue why don't you make up your move - unless you think she's just teasin’. All night long she's been lookin' at you – and givin’ you a good reason."
Do you see where this is going? It all happens because the music inspires the scat, which directs the meter of the lines. A good song melody can almost write your lyrics for you, but I'm not sure the reverse is true. If I write a good poem or song lyric, there's no guarantee that it will be easy to write music to it.
I was lucky in this instance in that David gave me a very solid pallet from which to take my paint. Anyone who writes lyrics on a regular basis could have written lyrics to Magnolia in about ten minutes. It's that good of a song. He may not decide to use my lyrics (or story board - because that's actually what prospective lyrics are; a story board), which doesn't phase me one way or the other as a lyricist. You have to have thick skin and an understanding that you can always use your rejected lyrics for another project.
I think the premise of the lyrics for Magnolia is sound. If David doesn't use them, then I surely will with another rock song. But he is welcome to them because that is what The Little Shop of Lyrics is for.
Guess what David has to pay for the lyrics? You guessed it, nada. Anyone who seeks lyrics from this workshop will never be charged a single penny. Of course, if you start selling your music and are making some big bucks off the lyrics or melodies of Wiggymusic, then I trust that you will do the right thing; pay me $.04 cents per song copy for my lyrics. (Assuming that you wrote the music and the standard royalty rate for authorship is $. 08 cents per song)
Hmmm, I guess I better rethink ordering that Lexus anytime soon.
But you get the idea; it's not about the money. It's about playing the music for your friends and putting smiles on some faces. How do you put a price tag on that?
Now let’s talk briefly about the message of this song. It's not too complicated - just like about 99% of all songs. We're all lonely on one plane or another. We're looking for something or someone to make us feel less lonely. Money doesn't matter. Power comes from having people who think that you're worth a damn. That source of power could come from a three year old sitting on your knee, or a beautiful 20 year old co-ed who likes older men - or women.
The point is that we are seeking something. Therein are the meat and potatoes of 90% of all song lyrics. The payoff is the movement. In the case of this paltry little example of lyric writing, the Old Blue is seen walking toward the door with the younger woman who was looking at him all night long. The Old Blue won. He took the advice of the younger man. The younger man is glad he did; he won, too. The young woman who liked him is happy to be leaving the bar or restaurant with the older man. She wins, too. It's a win - win - win situation.
So there's the movement; (sounds of a dead horse being beaten in the background) the Old Blue overcame his jitters about being back in the dating scene after so many years. David put a nice bridge in the song, which lent itself to the change in mood. (Don't look now - I think she's walkin' this way) I love it when a song is changing tempo and mood because it broadens the medium for the message. There is the change in meter and rhyme scheme I mentioned earlier.
As far as the choice of words I might just mention that the term, "bust a move" was once used by William Shattner on television. I didn't like using that line in the second chorus, because it is old news. It’s always a bad idea in my opinion to use a term which dates your work. If the term dies out, so does your work.
Anything from “bust a move” to “shake your booty” is a sure way to turn off your listening audience. I think I used the words, “bust out that move,” and that’s just as bad. I should be ashamed of myself. So, I said to myself, "How can you say this with a fresh voice?" I came up with the term, "Make up your move." The meaning of this term is evolving as we speak. It means that you're not sure that you want to make a move - you're not sure that you have a move - you're not sure that you have the guts to make a move - (busting it out or otherwise) so you are forced to swallow your fear and, "make up your move."
Obviously, it's a combination of "make up your mind" and "make your move." Notice that I didn't have to say, "make up your mind" to get the message of hesitation or indecision across. That cliché was good to me in these lyrics even though I never really used it. I thought "make up your move" was a really nice line and it will stand along with David's work until you "ahem" . . . borrow it.
Another device that worked well in this song was the metaphor, "Sometimes December gets September romance." That's another way of saying that there are no hard and fast rules about age differences. Especially in today's society. "I could have said, "Sometimes the old guys get the young good looking girls," but that sounds like something that Beaver Cleaver might write. Especially at his age.
2. Another Example of Scat Following a Melody
(Scatting with an Instrument)
Here is another song that I wrote some lyrics to for a man who lives in Pittsburgh, PA. His name is Tony Faiola and he lost his dog to cancer, which is always sad. Tony wrote this beautiful song and finished it right when his dog passed away. His dog always liked to ride in the car with him so he named the song, “The Last Ride.”
Well, I listened to the song and heard the story and it really moved me. I lost my dog after twelve and a half years, so I said to my wife, "I won't be able to get straight until I write some lyrics for this song.
I found myself thinking about my dog and getting all choked up.
All of a sudden my closure undid itself and I was a mess.
Long story short (sure) I wrote the song from the point of view (POV) of the dog in heaven trying to comfort the owner. As far as where the phrasing of the words came from, I followed the scat. In this instance, the scat followed the flute. I started playing the flute to Tony's beautiful song and the "suggestion" of a melody unfolded.
If you don't play a melody instrument, then you scat with your voice - just like Mel Torme, “The Golden Fog" did. Trini Lopez did also, but some say it's just because he forgot the words. In the case below, the lyric phrases followed the music phrases. As I mentioned earlier, this is always easiest for me.
Note: This was written from the POV of a dog in heaven, but it never alludes to a dog, but merely a relationship. It could easily be sung by passed lover or a passed cowboy to his partner on the range. That is the beauty of being vague.
“The Last Ride” Faiola & Nelson c. 2006
(Intro) (1st Verse)
In my way I tried to show you
How good it was to know you
And how it felt to ride by your side
(2nd Verse)
In my way I told you not to hurry
I told you not to worry
Everybody cries on the last ride
(Repeat 1st and 2nd Verse)
(Refrain)
There’s something more that I wanted to say
Here’s to our dreams when we’re back in the day
Now dry those tears from your eye
I’ve got a place I can wait for my ride
(Repeat 1st Verse)
There, I finally got my closure back and I could stop crying. It was okay. My dog was in heaven reflecting on the good times we had and is waiting patiently for us to hook up again. (Waiting for his ride)
Music is a wonderful medium for sorting out your emotions. It's like therapy with noise.
3. A Brief Examination Of
The Multi-syllabic Rhyme
Another song by Tony Faiola that I wrote lyrics to is a little more spiritual than emotional. (Maybe both for some people) He had some lyrics in mind and they were from the POV of Jesus. I thought, well, there's a stretch, but I'll give it a shot. I mean, what's the worst that could happen? (Sounds of thunder & lightning in the background)
Anyway, I'm still here. I'd like to talk about the structure of the rhyme scheme for a minute. I used what I call a multi-syllabic rhyme.
The song is pretty straight forward in that it begins with rhyming couplets for the verses. Then the chorus uses another device called alternate rhymes. When I display the lyrics below, I’ll italicize the rhyming words so you’ll see what I am calling a muti-syllabic rhyme.
In the chorus I rhymed "the heavens" and "forever." You might say, hey wait a minute you charlatan, what are you trying to pull, here? Those words don't really rhyme. Well, if they appear far enough away from each other, you can get away with it. As I mentioned earlier, it is called a slant rhyme or near rhyme. Here are the lyrics below the link to the song. I sure hope Jesus likes this song. Some critics are more consequential than others, if you get my drift.
“Walk With Me” Faiola & Nelson c.2006
If you saw me walk on water - could you place your trust in me
If you saw me heal a blind man - would it help you to believe
If you think that you’re above her - be the first to cast the stone
If you find the will to love her - then she doesn't stand alone
(Chorus)
When the sun no longer sails the heavens
When the moon falls helpless to the sea
Would you like to carry on forever
All I ask is that you walk with me
On the many roads to heaven - you can find me on them all
On the castle built on evil - is a tower bound to fall
When you pass along the story - how the water changed to wine
Will you sing about the glory - that was never really mine
(Chorus)
When the sky was full of fury - it was I who calmed the sea
That a ship of faithful sailors - could forever walk with me
Notice that every other line rhymes in the chorus. This is a very common practice and, as mentioned above, is called alternate rhyme. The lyrics in the five verses are monosyllabic rhymes and have the very basic AA, BB scheme, or are called, rhyming couplets. The second and fourth verses also contain parallel internal rhymes, which have been italicized in bold face type. It just so happened that the rhymes “above her – love her” and “story - glory” kind of wrote themselves into those particular rhyming couplets.
4. Imperatives and Suggestions
The next tune I'd like to discuss was written by a really cool cat named Clay Gittens. You can find his work over on Songramp under the came, BigDaddyC. He wrote this song called Bolero that I really liked so I asked him if I could write some lyrics to it and maybe put some flute in, too. He said yes. I tried not to step on it. Now the point I'd like to make about this song is the chorus only rhymes with itself. What are you talking about, Wig? How can you get away with that? No really, the chorus just says, "How does that sound to you, Baby?" and then repeats, “How does that sound?” It’s just a hook that repeats.
Well, just think about the possibilities with a set up like that. That's a cliché, "How does that sound?" Okay, so far, so good. Now who is saying it?
Ahh, I get it. This guy is saying it to his girlfriend.
This leads to literally hundreds of different possibilities for content. How many times in your life have you said to someone, “Hey, why don’t we. . .”
(You fill in the blank)
The guy can suggest anything pleasurable and then follow it up with an imperative phrase, like, "How does that sound?" I think you should write some lyrics using this technique, just for an exercise. Let's call it your homework. How does that sound? No, wait, that's been used already by Wig. So how about a nice list of imperatives to use following your suggestions:
"Wouldn't that make your day?"
"Couldn't you just taste a night like that?"
"Would you like that, at all?"
"Sound good to you?"
"Wouldn't that ring your bell?"
"Wasn't that worth waiting for?"
"You can share the dream with me?"
"Have you got a better idea?"
"I told you I'd make it worth your while."
"What do you say?"
"Make it come true."
"I won't take no for an answer."
"You owe it to me, if not you."
"Don't make me ask you again."
"I shouldn't have to ask you at all."
"We might not get the chance again."
I’m sure you get the idea. If you just repeated any one of those lines at the end of your verse lines (that are hopefully rhyming couplets) then you can repeat the same pattern throughout the whole song.
Here's an example: "Hey, Mama - I just got the notion . . . let's go to the beach and I'll cover you with . . . suntan oil” (just kidding . . . "lotion" of course)
Then you use the imperative: “I won't take no for an answer."
You see? The imperative followed up the suggestion.
Those "imperatives" for lack of a better term all serve to support any number of "suggestions."
Now I’ve only used up a few suggestions, so that leaves hundreds more.
A quick note about the rhyme scheme of the song: You'll find what I call internal rhymes (rhymes contained within the lines) like, "beautiful, as usual" and "you and me on an ocean, so free." (More on internal rhymes in chapter 4) I'll bold face and italicize the rhyming words and phrases so you can note their position.
“Bolero” Music By Clay Gittens / Lyrics By Wig Nelson c.2006
I just got a really cool idea - from a dream I had last night You were looking beautiful, as usual, and so I had to hold you so tight It was only you and me – on an ocean so free And the sails were oh so full - of a warm summer breeze
(Chorus) How does that sound ta’ you, baby? How does that sound? How does that sound ta’ you, baby? How does that sound?
We were sailing away - on a so lazy day We were finding each other again And the birds in the air sang a song for us there But you see the dream didn’t really have to end
(Chorus)
Hey look, there’s a dolphin off the starboard bow If I wasn’t dreaming, I’d swear - he’s tryin’ to talk to us somehow Maybe he knows of an island somewhere Maybe he wants us to follow him there
(Chorus)
One final note about the lyrics that I wrote for Bolero: I was matching the beats or accents in the meter of the lines as well as the words.
birds in the air = song for us there
beautiful = usual = oh so full
ocean so free = warm summer breeze
sailing away = so lazy day
again = to end
birds in the air = song for us there
off the starboard bow = talk to us somehow
he knows of an island somewhere = he'd like us to follow him there.
You see? They all have exactly the same number of syllables in the rhyming phrases. It's not critical but I think it helps the flow of the song and develops a rhythm that the listeners anticipate. Then they are rewarded by the expected rhythm once it becomes familiar and a pattern
Chapter 4: Internal Rhymes
Internal rhymes serve a lot of purposes. They add to the rhythm of the phrasing and generally keep the song going as a "page turner." I use the term page turner, because I don't know the term that applies to music. What I'm trying to say is that an internal rhyme can boost the energy of a song and keep it moving at a nice pace. The listener says, "Hey, I can play this game," and starts listening for the internal rhyme. They anticipate what the words will be and are rewarded when they're right, and intrigued when they're wrong.
Here's an example of where I used an internal rhyme for one of my songs. Click on the link and come back to the lyrics. I'll bold face and italicize the internal rhymes within the lines. Hey, did I just do an internal rhyme there?
Note that the first two lines in the chorus have both end rhymes and internal rhymes. Then the next two lines are a rhyming couplet, and finally, the last line of the chorus is a repeat of the first line, which is another example of what I referred to earlier as bookends.
“Lady Who Sings” By Wig Nelson c. 1979
(First Verse) Tell ya’ boy you can’t go wrong – find a voice to sing your song More than meter – more than rhyme – you can write your name in time. . . with a
(Chorus) Lady who sings – dancin’ on the strings of a seasoned old Martin guitar Look in my jeans – all them flashy queens took the money that I had for your jar An old guitar pick was all I could find – still I thought I ought to leave it behind For the lady who sings – dancin’ on the strings of a seasoned old Martin guitar (Second Verse) I saw her in a bar one night – her eyes were cool – her hair was light When she filled the room with sound – then I knew I’d finally found . . . me a
(Chorus) (Break)
(Third Verse) I thought that I could trace the fame – I looked around to find her name She was gone before I knew– I’d be thinkin’ lonely blue . . . bout a (Chorus)
There are a ton of other examples of internal rhymes and this is as good a time as any to slip in another one of mine.
The reason why I'm using this example is because I took the technique and did what I do to most techniques and devices: beat it to death.
Again, I’ll bold face and italicize the end rhymes and the internal rhymes.
The repetition of like sounds within a line is also called assonance and is found in a lot of poetry. I’ve always found it a very strong and useful device for writing song lyrics. Sometimes the words are like puzzle pieces and the listener gets a feeling of satisfaction when they fall neatly into place.
“Song For Cain” By Wig Nelson
I know you’re not pleased with the deed that you’ve done
You don't want to live with the dead
It seems that the means for living your dreams
Have taken over your head
Taken over your head
The people that know you they show you you're old
And all of the work left to do
But Ifor a while will sit with a smile
And think of Abel and you
Think of Abel and you
You wouldn't let love of the self bring you 'round
With grain in the palm of your hand
And when you were through the brother you knew
Was just another dead man
Just another dead man
I don't mean to say that you shouldn't be here
And do what you know must be done
But keep this in mind for the good of mankind
You'll back away when you've won
Back away when you've won
See what I mean by beating it to death? I wrote that song in my twenties, about thirty years ago, right after I went and saw "Jesus Christ, Superstar" by Andrew Lloyd Weber. I guess that musical first put me in the mood to write songs with biblical influences. Since then I’ve written “The Holy Man,” Walk With Me,” “All There Is” and “Get There,” not to mention one I haven’t produced called “Get Thee Behind Me, Satan.” I guess you could say I was influenced.
I'm back, with Chapter 4: “Continued”
Why is it continued? Because it's my book, not yours. No, really I haven't said all I want to say about internal rhymes yet. There's another really cool example that I'd like to share. It's a song called "Glittery Ho." Now there's a really nice sentiment, isn't it. What it means, of course is glittery whore. I guess if I want to get on someone's good side, all I have to do is call them a glittery whore. Sorry.
But sometimes, lyrics are not pretty. Any art is not pretty in some cases. I've had some wines that were real dogs, but I'm sure the jerk who put it in a bottle and charged me too much money thought he was an artist.
This brings us back to "Glittery Ho." In my not so humble opinion, it may be the best song I've ever written. It's kind of like theater, which a lot of my songs lend themselves to. I’ve always loved songs that tell a story. When you can write a nice melody or chord progression and also write some interesting lyrics that tell a story you’ve covered all the bases and hit a home run, in my opinion.
Files coming soon.